A Coach’s Roadmap to 5 Figure Months

 

HOW TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE

This is a big one and just so we are clear self-sabotage is almost at epidemic state. The first thing you need to do to stop self-sabotage is to understand it better.

What is self-sabotage?

 

If we looked at what we can find in the dictionary self-sabotage is “the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work correctly” or “an act or process tended to hamper or hurt” Miriam Webster dictionary.

Oxford dictionary says that self-sabotage is “deliberately destroy, damage or obstruct (something)”

Self-sabotage involves behaviours’ or thoughts that keep you away from what you desire most in life. It’s that internal sentiment gnawing at us, saying “you can’t do this.” You know the times when we want something, but somehow, we never accomplish it. Why? Because somewhere deep in our subconscious we’re fighting against that goal.

This is your subconscious trying to protect you, prevent pain and deal with deep-seated fear. But the result of self-sabotage is that we hesitate instead of seizing new challenges. We forgot about our dreams and goals. In the end, we know we missed out, but we don’t understand why.

My personal opinion and after coaching and healing hundreds possibly even thousands of clients, I believe self-sabotage is just simply a coping strategy. A survival pattern that we do to keep us safe.

When I say safe, I mean small. Our autonomic nervous system is all about safety and every aspect of our subconscious is conditioned to keep us safe. Because we are in our subconscious state almost 90% of the time, it is pretty much running the show. So, to understand self-sabotage and particularly why you may be doing it, you have to dive deep into why you believe the alternative is not safe.

Most of us hold a lot of guilt and shame but when you see it like this all of a sudden, it’s actually just your body doing its wonderful thing and keeping you alive! Ain’t no shame in that!

Everyone self-sabotages in different degrees. The main signs or ways most people do this is with things like overeating when they are full…Christmas doesn’t count!  Procrastinating, you know, when instead of tackling an important project in a speedy manner, you allow yourself to dawdle to the last minute. (My favourite)

Negative self-talk/negative thinking

 

Your inner voice or inner critic as some may say is constantly critical. If you’re still beating yourself up for past mistakes it’s time to make some changes. Be patient and kind to yourself. Work to build yourself up.

Perfectionism

 

This is when you tell yourself you can’t take action until the right time, or believe you need to perfect your skills before you move forward. YOU DON’T NEED ANOTHER CERTIFICATION OR DEGREE!

These are all forms of self-sabotage. Perfection is an impossible standard that keeps you from moving forward. NO ONE IS PERFECT.

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What Can We Do to Stop the Self-Limiting Behaviours?

My top tips to implement to stop self-sabotage:

Become aware

Awareness is key. You don’t know what you don’t know. Many of us are engaged in self-destructive behaviours’ that have become habits. We allow these behaviours’ to continually undermine our success and happiness, but we may not even recognize that we’re doing it.

Self-sabotage is when we do something that gets in the way of our intent, or of our bigger dreams and goals.

Some of our self-sabotage behaviours are so subtle it’s easy to miss. This is when a great coach or mentor can come in very handy. We often can’t see our actions that may be hurting us.

The first step to breaking the cycle of self-sabotage is becoming aware of these behaviours. You need to see it from a new perspective. What self-sabotaging patterns and mindsets are holding you back?